Writing has always come easy for me. Playing guitar was something I’ve wanted to do since the age of 5. And singing, same thing. Starting singing commercials as a youngin and never stopped. So it is kinda hard for me to look at those things as “talents”. To me, they are things I enjoyed doing. I enjoyed performing, making people laugh and have a good time.
With my main support gone, I had to take a huge step back and look at me through her eyes. And look at others around me as well. Could they do what I do? Could they put on a solo 2 hour show with original music and comedy? Could they write historical fiction? Would they put in the research time it takes to write about Victorian London?
My niece and daughter can draw, they have talent.
Simone Biles, she has talent.
Prince, he had talent.
Robin Williams, he had talent.
What makes them so different from me? Nothing. They all need to practice their skills, even if they came naturally at first. Honing a skill to be the best you can be.
For me to realize that I AM talented, I listened to my CDs without catching the small errors that only I pick up. I’ve reread my novellas without thinking how I could have changed a scene. I play my guitar without comparing myself to Prince. But, I have to tell myself every, single day that:
I have talent.
I am talented.
Not everyone can do what I do.
I am unique.
I have faith in me. I can do this.
Yes, for ten years, 120 months, 3,650 days, I have to remind myself. It was easy for my mom and it’s getting a bit easier for me. Since losing mom, I have stepped out of my comfort zone. And stepped up to make her proud! I self-published Eliza’s Revenge, the sequel to Eliza Jane. I went back to school to pursue a degree in Creative Writing to hone my skills. Graduated with my BA in English and Creative Writing in September of 2022 from Southern New Hampshire University and currently working through the MFA program at SNHU with a G.P.A. of 4.0 with expected completion in 2026. Member of Sigma Tau Delta and National Society of Leadership and Success. Started Timely Talents, a writing consultation business on 02/02/2022. And going back to Thunderclap recording studio to finish up my 5th CD.
Do I have doubts? Absolutely! But I find comfort in knowing that the confidence that my mother instilled in me is always there. I just need to dig at times to pull it back out. Whether it be by meditation, prayer, crystals, aroma therapy, crying, looking at mementoes of past performances or by just doing it (like randomly going to an open mic night).
I know it’s in there. I still strive for it to be stronger. But I’m working on it. I have no choice.
Next Week: Losing Aunt Marion and KC
Until Next Time…
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