Man, just when I thought I was doing better. Grief was becoming manageable, surgery healed nicely, even started a new job, BAM! life tossed me another curve ball.
As I write this blog, it is five years since her passing. She passed 11/05/2019.
She had been slowing down quite a bit and her last vet visit wasn’t good so the decision had to be made. I didn’t go. I wasn’t with her. It was during the probation period, but I chose to be at the new job. A decision I regret to this day. I should have been with her. She was always there for me and I let her down. I should have been with Mark. No one should have to endure that alone.
I had her for ten years. My mom thought I needed a dog after I was let go at a place I worked at for 16 years. They outsourced the department and brought in their own people. We went to the humane society and walked up and down the aisles. There was this black dog sitting in the middle of the cage, not barking, not coming to the front to be greeted and we just stared at each other. My mom had already moved on and came back looking for me and I said, “this one.” I thought the tag on the cage said ‘10 years old’ and I thought, how nice, an older dog. But it was ‘10 months old’. Her name was Angel. Yes, she was. But I changed her name to Schnookies. That’s just what I started calling her and she didn’t seem to mind.
When I brought her home, my daughter was sitting on the couch with her boyfriend and she asked who’s dog? I said ours if she’s comfortable here (we had cats). She jumped on the couch, layed on Jessica and we agreed she was comfortable here so we officially adopted her.
There is a place in Crivitz Wisconsin where I love to go. There are cabins, limited wi-fi, a lake and peace! There is one cabin where dogs are invited. I booked that cabin for one week. Once we got there, I took Schnookies for a walk on the pier, she wasn’t paying attention and walked right off of it. It was then, I realized she did not know how to swim so I jumped in to save her and quickly learned she was not a camping type dog. She jumped with the grasshoppers and got caught under the cabin chasing a chipmunk.I spent my week saving her. I laughed so hard that week and enjoyed myself so much. I didn’t get the writing done I was planning on doing, but so enjoyed spending time with Schnookies.
I was in the hospital once for a few days and my daughter told me that Schnookies laid by the back door until I came home. She said that she (Schnookies) was sad, despondent and didn’t eat much. I do remember how excited she was when I came home. Doing a happy dance.
Over the years, she conformed to everybody and every animal that came through our doors. I took her to Mark’s when we first started dating and she got along with his cat and his nephew’s dogs. I took her mom’s and she got along with her dogs. She loved the neighbor’s dog too.
She loved snow, walks, belly rubs, treats, and kisses on the snout. She was lousy at fetch and catching, but she loved to try. She cuddled in bed or on the couch. She read my emotions better than me. She knew when I was sad and would put her head on my lap. When I was happy she would do, what I called, a happy dance.
I hear her at night. Her spirit is in this house. She had a distinct way of walking and laying down and I hear that when I go to bed. Or if I go to bed feeling sad, I feel something on the bed and there is a depression on the covers. I know it’s her. And I talk to her. And I tell her I’m sorry. I tell her I love her.
Next Week: The Pandemic
Until Next Time…
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